Hello, loyal readers. Nova Giovanni is back with some more Ramen Noodle Soup For Your Souls. In this installment, I’ll be exposing a stealthy enemy that has infiltrated our homes and kidnapped the minds of our children. This culprit stands at an astounding 3 feet tall, weighs 45 pounds, has brown eyes, and a bob haircut like the hoodrat she is. Innocent people, the enemy is none other than DORA THE EXPLORER!
I know what you’re saying. You’re saying, “Dora is just an innocent cartoon character that virtually babysits my children because I’m too lazy to do constructive activities with them.” Nova Giovanni will tell you, YOU’RE WRONG! Think about it, WHERE are Dora’s parents? She walks around for 30 minutes at a time with a monkey she stole from the San Diego Zoo. She isn’t only a runaway, but she is an animal thief also! So, what kind of message is she sending to our children? To pack everything they can fit in their school regulation sized backpacks, run away from home, and explore the harsh and cruel world on their own? Yes, that is the EXACT message she is sending!
The creators of Dora The Explorer are purposely steering our children in the wrong direction. Dora is a young runaway with a monkey on her back. Do you see the subliminal message there? She is spreading her lies and corruption wherever she travels. Did you witness how she turned Diego out to a life of reckless abandonment of his parents also? Now, they are both infecting our children with the false hopes that they too can run away from home and have their own Nickelodeon specials.
Lets delve deeper now. Dora The Explorer is trying to keep our children behind in school. Yes, I said it. At the ages of 3 thru 8, a child in America can barely speaks good ENGLISH these days. WHY is Dora trying to purposely confuse our children with her SPANISH lessons? Now, your child is 6 years old- without have an OUNCE of Hispanic blood in his body, and has to take English As A Second language classes because he keeps calling his classmates “amigo”. Blame DORA! BLAME DORA! BLAME DORA! I hope Dora explores Arizona, immigrations officers catch her, and make that her last episode. Nova Knows…
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Nova Giovanni
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LOL you are such fun. This was an entertaining read.
Posted by imbeaminscotty | July 11, 2011, 2:59 amThis was too damn funny!
Posted by Taliea Leigh Pocaigue | July 15, 2011, 3:08 amLMAO!
Posted by Andy Botwin (@HenriDevious) | August 11, 2011, 10:06 pmThat shit was the biggest waste of f****** time I read in my whole life
Posted by Raul | February 6, 2012, 1:18 pmWhite kids are stupid anyways that’s why they get away with everything to their parents pay for it
Posted by Raul | February 6, 2012, 1:22 pmYou really are so wrong. You think a 3 year oljd is goinv to runaway from home. I feel sorry for you sounds like u didn’t had a childhood
Posted by ashley | March 1, 2012, 2:11 pm